1. Discuss and define your discipline strategy with your partner in a time of calm. Be sure to consider escalation strategies for disobedience or repeat offences. (For example: The first time I give a warning that he will lose a privelege, such as an activity planned for that day, if he continues. The second time he loses that privilege, etc.) Write it down if necessary. Don't make it up in response to a problem, or you're likely to overreact. It is very important that both parents are consistent when they discipline, and it is also very important to not undermine the other parent.
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Recognize when a discipline situation is necessary. At that exact moment be sure to calmly apply your strategy, without giving it a second thought or consideration. Any strategy is most effective when applied confidently and promptly so your child knows exactly when they are overstepping the bounds you set. (If immediate disciplinary action is not possible at that particular moment, then wait until you get home, and let them know. This must be understood by both you and the child to be the highest priority in order to be effective.)
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Be consistent. If you give a warning and consequence for an action, you must follow through with your consequences. Being consistent and following through will eliminate the need for yelling. If you do not follow through, your child will quickly learn that your words do not hold any weight, and they will stop listening.
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Never give in to bad behavior, especially tantrums. Simply tell them to stop, tell them the consequences, and let them decide. If bad behaviour gets the child what he or she wants, they have just been rewarded for it and they will most definitely try it again. Don't forget to praise and appreciate the good behaviour too.
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When the disciplinary action is completed, review and remind them why they got into trouble and why it was wrong. Ask them not to do that again, explain what will happen if the behavior is repeated. Give your child a hug and a kiss, and assure them you love them.
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Review your discipline methods periodically. Be sure that the consequences you set are appropriate, not to soft or too harsh, for the action and for your child's developmental age. Taking a toy away may be sufficient punishment for one child, but not another.
Trust your child to make the decision between any bad behavior and the consequence. Let him trust you by being consistent and following through with what you say. Children thrive better when they know what the rules and their limits are, because it gives them the feeling that they are cared for and loved.
edit Tips
* If you have other children never compare them with their brothers or sisters ,that could lead them into low self esteem or make them feel like they have no worth.
My Autistic Son Succeeded! I'll Show You How Your Child Can Too.
www.AmericanAutismSociety.org
* Criticize the behavior, not the child ("What you did was stupid", not "You are so stupid."). If you call a child 'stupid' long enough they will either begin to believe it or begin to resent it.
* For young children, one minute of "time-out" per year of age is a good standard. Longer than that and they feel abandoned, and thus lose trust in you.
* To encourage older children to change behavior, write the problem down, discuss it, and guide the child in developing his or her own correction plan. Make it measurable, and include a punishment for failure (e.g. grounding) and a reward for success (e.g. you will be trusted with this and not bothered about it again unless necessary). Do not make the punishment or reward based on money or possessions.
* Everyone needs multiple chances to learn and everyone needs a fresh start, especially children. Don't escalate for things repeated a week apart by a young child (i.e. pre-pubescent) -- just for those repeated in the same day. Young children don't have the same way of remembering things as older children and adults.
Warnings
* Stick to your defined strategy, no matter how mad you are at a given moment. When you are angry, it may be impossible to think clearly, and it can take up to an hour for your hormones to return to normal. That's why you should decide these things when you're calm.
* No matter how intelligent your child is, remember that you are dealing with a child. Don't get into psychoanalysis; don't invite a child into an adult-level review of the problem. Tell the child the rules and consequences for breaking them, and apply it consistently. This will make the world seem to be a fair, safe, and predictable place.
* If you are not consistent with your discipline, or ignore their bad behavior because you think they are too young to know any better, you will have a much harder time trying reducing bad behavior later on.
* Do not bribe for good behavior. The bribes will become required. Occasionally rewarding for good behavior after the fact is not a bribe.
Bye
Jai jinendra
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